Laugh Out Loud
1. Of course I should clean my windows. But privacy is important too.
2. I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail. I sent it right back – way too expensive and really bad quality.
3. When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
4. Husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife, "He’s been crying the whole way home. Isn’t he sick or something?"
"No," replies the wife, "he was just trying to tell you he isn’t our Frankie."
"No," replies the wife, "he was just trying to tell you he isn’t our Frankie."
5. 8 p.m: I get an SMS from my girlfriend: Me or football?!
11 p.m: I SMS my girlfriend: You of course.
6. At a disco:
He: “Wow, what’s a cute girl like you doing in a corner all alone?”
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She: “I had to fart.”
He: “Wow, what’s a cute girl like you doing in a corner all alone?”
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She: “I had to fart.”
7. Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.”
8. Best first: When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
9. Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
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Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
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Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
10. Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?
My name is Paul.
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